In a dramatic week for the HR department of the White House, Patrick Star was today sworn in as the new Vice-President of the United States. Star, best known as the laid-back sidekick of Spongebob Squarepants, agreed to climb out from under his rock in Bikini Bottom after receiving a personal phonecall from President Trump.
Announcing the appointment in his first morning tweet this Friday, President Trump wrote:
“Man, I saw this guy on TV and he was just so funny, you know. His IQ is almost as high as mine and a lot of people can relate to that. He will help me continue MAKING AMERICA GREAT AGAIN.”
Mr Star was unavailable for comment as he was on vacation jellyfish hunting but Eugene Krabs, a close confidant and owner of The Krusty Krab tweeted:
“Patrick is just who I need to make sure President Trump continues to cut taxes for businessmen such as myself. Money Money Money Money. Beautiful Money.”
It follows the trend this month of the President hiring Fox TV personalities to be his National Security Advisor, Chief Economic Advisor and members of his legal team. Sources close to the president have said that he is assembling the greatest group of people the White House has ever seen, one that is sure to keep his America First agenda on the right track.
Mr Star is expected to accompany the President on his upcoming summit with North Korean leader, Kin Jong Un. Reports that The Power Rangers are on standby should the negotiations fail are so far unconfirmed. What can be confirmed is that the Secret Service have been seen digging a hole in the White House lawns so that Mr Star can move in as quickly as possible.
Spongebob Squarepants is nowhere to be found amidst reports that he is distraught Patrick Star has got himself a new best friend. Updates on his whereabouts as we get them.