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Five Minutes with Feck News

UFO  Mania

“They’re going home, they’re going home, they’re going,  Healy-Rae’s are going home”. The recent, supposed sightings of UFOs off the south coast of Ireland can only mean one thing, right? The gombeen experiment of the Baloobian Empire has run its course and they’ve decided to recall the Healy-Rae family for debriefing. It’s the only logical reason for such a clan of incoherent, jibbering charlatans to have gained such mystifying influence in the Kingdom of Kerry. Methinks our inter-galactic cousins were hoodwinked by the term “Kingdom” and have belatedly decided to rectify their mistake.

Either that or the US Military are using Shannon again for whatever shenanigans they’re up to. Remember, they have invisible aircraft, don’t they?

Ruining the Blow-Dry.

The Armistice Commemorations are done and dusted and, unsurprisingly, the narcissist ninny currently squatting in the White House managed to make all the headlines about himself.  A few squirts of moisture from above (the Parisian skies variety not Russian hooker kind) forced  Donald Trump to spend the majority of the weekend in his hotel room. Instead of respecting the memories of those fallen in previous nationalist-driven tragedies, the fear of flushed follicles and fake-tan streaked shirts confined him to luxurious isolation and furious tweets promoting electoral fraud in Florida.

Whilst other world leaders performed their roles with dignity and warned of a history hurtling towards repeating itself, America’s PimpenFuhrer continued to divide and conquer with his insensitive tweets about the Californian wildfires. Still, at least he got a half-hearted thumbs-up from his boss in the Kremlin. Every employee needs a half-yearly review after all.

 

Look at What You Could Have Won.

It’s November again which means it’s time for one of TheLiberal.ie’s special competitions. To give Leo Sherlock a tiny bit of credit, he’s certainly got balls the size of a donkey to be so brazen about running these fake prizes again and again. Especially when it’s been definitively proven that he has been conning and misleading gullible social media users in Ireland since 2014.

You see, previous “winners” of The Liberal’s competitions all had email addresses which linked back to Leo Sherlock’s own Gmail account in the event of being locked out or forgotten passwords. And these Facebook accounts were all used to comment on posts on the page of his racist, fear mongering website, designed to promote authenticity of his output and generate clicks. Belatedly this year, Facebook Security purged many of these fake accounts from their platform.

However, this obviously hasn’t deterred Ireland’s premier plagiarist and Milo Yannopolous wannabe from attempting to dupe more people into following his poor excuse for a news outlet. It’s important to note also that on Twitter, Smyth’s Toys Ireland, for whom his unfortunate followers believe they are in line to win a voucher for, have disassociated themselves from this competition.

A €300 voucher for Xmas toys is apparently all it takes these days to become indoctrinated into racism and misogyny.

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