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Daily News Round-Up Tuesday 20th March

The Bank Holiday weekend has run its course here in Ireland so here’s our daily news round-up so you can catch up what’s been happening in the last 24 hours.

From Drumpf to Frumpf reports this morning on Leo Vardkar’s visit to Berlin to meet with Angela Merkel. No doubt high on the agenda will be the ongoing negotiations around Brexit and the Border issue. At least he’ll not have to speak in Pidgin English, unlike last week in Washington, in order to be understood.

Tweety Pie Tweety Lies. Again

As has become the norm over the weekends, America was treated to yet more temper tantrums from the thumbs of their Commander-in-Chief. Like a baby whose nappy rash was treated with taco sauce rather than Sudocream, Trump squealed that the “witch-hunt” against him was all conducted by Democrats with no Republicans involved. Last time everyone checked, Bob Mueller, Rod Rosentein, James Comey and Andrew McCabe were all registered Republicans.

In a move dripping with vindictiveness, Trump instructed his Attorney General, Jeff “no good people smoke weed” Sessions, to fire Andrew McCabe two days before he was due to retire with full pension benefits. He followed this up by throwing his Trump-branded toys out of the pram and demanding to be breastfed by Ivanka.

Ukip to the Skip?

A report in the Guardian on Monday has indicated that Ukip, the  British political party who policies may or may not include re-instating colonial rule in Fuzzy-Wuzzy Land, are on the verge of bankruptcy. They had financially supported a libel case against one of its MEPs, Jane Collins, for accusing 3 Labour MPs of ignoring child sexual abuse in Rotherham.

The judge ruled against Collins resulting in the party becoming liable for costs accrued, costs which have them teetering on the edge of insolvency. Looks like Nigel will have to pinch a few golden doorknobs next time he visits Trump Tower.

Swing Low Sour Chariot

In a column for the BBC Website, former English rugby player Jeremy Guscott claimed that there were no world-class players on Ireland’s Grand Slam winning team. He stated they were just “23 players playing very well”.

Rumours that Guscott subsequently choked on his own bitterness have so far proved unfounded.

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